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zeldathemes
Mrs Garritsen Ayy

Hello, i'm Jamie and whatever

vaginal-erection:

tobeanavengersfangirl:

motherfuckingsamulet:

venomturtle:

this is the best thing in the entire world

i’m actually crying

fucking turtles, man

it;s like, they know

  #animals  

marauders4evr:

Hesitation

All eyes were turned to the squirming boy on the stool. The hat was partially covering his face but they could see his worried frown. The seconds seemed to crawl by.

Sirius Black was especially interested in this student. He could barely see over the cluster of heads. He half-rose from his seat, only to be stopped by a comforting hand on his shoulder. James gave him a sympathetic look and Sirius sank back down, realizing that there was nothing he could do.

By now, a good minute had passed. A smile slowly spread across Sirius’ face, as if the verdict had already been announced.

Finally, the hat came to life and a single word echoed though the hall:

"SLYTHERIN!"

He sadly nodded and James squeezed his shoulder. And yet, despite his sorrow, Sirius continued to smile as Regulus toook the hat off and raced over to the table clad in green and grey.

"Sorry, mate," Remus murmured.

Sirius waved his hand and remarked, “Ah, I knew that he was going to get sorted into Slytherin.”

His friends stared at him, unable to hide their confusion.

"Then," Peter whispered, "Why are you smiling?"

"Because," Sirius proudly said, "The hat hesitated."

  #harry potter  

geekygeekweek:

Stunning Steampunk Leather Bags And Books 

These bags and books are the work of Russian leatherworker and throat singer Serguei Kooc. He’s created incredibly detailed Steampunk bags and books with lots of brass accents. 

Product Page (Prices Vary Diane Duane via Boing Boing)

  #want  

d0nn0:

clestroying:

barebackinq:

porkrub:

barebackinq:

porkrub:

barebackinq:

during cummies ∩(︶▽︶)∩

No cummies for you tonight kitten now straight to bed with you

(╯ಊ╰) but daddy…im so squishy…it tingles daddy..im sticky..

Use mr fluffy baby until I get home from work and maybe I’ll give you cummies

( ´∀`)Thank you daddy! baby cant wait for cummies!!

wHAT THE FUCK

 

  #txt  
person: but what if your parents had aborted YOU
me: well okay for starters i wouldn't have been forced to hear that stupid ass comment you just made
  #txt    #tru  

potofsoup:

archeralli:

a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first

It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.

——-

1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him.  It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake.  Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you. 

Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.

———-

2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward.  Twist, swing, twist, swing.

Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong.  Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.

———-

3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.

Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober.  “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.”  Steve looks over.  “The one in the red dress?  That’s Miss Carter.”  You can’t decide what surprises you more — that Steve can see red now, or that he knows her name.  So you decide you need another drink.

———-

4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that).  On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.

Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base.  “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?”  You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.

———-

5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle.  The left side always belongs to Steve.

Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire.  You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket.  “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter.  “You read this yet?  They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”

———————-

Still later:

Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures

After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:

A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs.  However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.

B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.  

C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information.  However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.

D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized.  This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.

After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.

—————————

(Some habits linger, even when the person is gone.)

[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic] [Steve-angst sequel here, happy resolution pseudo-sequel here]

[The rest of my Captain America stuff]

[and now with colorblindness commentary]

  #captain america    #things  

earthgoth:

helbows:

Introducing the Social Intelligence Test! From what I can tell, it’s sponsored by Harvard and it’s rather interesting. The basis is you look at pictures of people going through different emotions and decide what emotion they’re feeling. The trick is, you can only see their eyes.

How well can you read people? I never thought I was good at it, but I scored rather high on this test. It was a very interesting experience! I highly recommend taking this!

23 OUT OF 36

  #29 of 36    #Nice    #Things  
default album art
Song: Hate, Rain On Me
Artist: Andrew Jackson Jihad
Album: Knife Man
Played: 16,979 times.

foreheadfuhrer:

Hate, Rain On Me // Andrew Jackson Jihad

I wish I had a bullet big enough to fucking kill the sun. I’m sick of songs about the summer, and I hate everyone.

  #music  
Baby: M-m
Mom: Mama?
Baby: The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell
  #txt  

actualcrutchie:

questions to ask about your favourite character

  • if u gave them an office chair would they spin around on it and wheel around the room
  • how many selfies do they take
  • how much do they yell during a mario kart game
  #inspiration